One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize