I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
where am i from again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize