Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
