I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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