Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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