I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
