im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
