Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
