Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize