I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
