matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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