he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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