girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
