So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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