I puked a lego.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
