we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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