I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
