Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
