Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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