Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize