I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
