she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize