how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
