How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How does one acquire holy water?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
