Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
