moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
