thus making me awesome and them whores
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
