Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
