Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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