we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
