I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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