Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
