I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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