I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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