so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
