No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she peed on how many people?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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