My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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