I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
