You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
