So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
