WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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