He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
