Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
