no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
