Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
