its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
