Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
