i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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