Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
this hospital has no fireball
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
