Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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