id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
