that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
