Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
