brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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