So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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