I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
