the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
