BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
