apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize