she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm really busy with my period
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