You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
