Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
