my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize