my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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