Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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