Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
