My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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