She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She needs sedatives and a leash
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
