i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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