god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
